People ask why bad things happen.
If a god exists, why does he allow such pain?
Ponder for a moment the bad relationships in your life.
Or as an example, examine mine:
Without that one guy last year, I wouldn't know what true love and intimacy without sexual activity was like;
Without that other, I wouldn't know how bad it feels to be used and fooled;
Without the next I wouldn't know what a one-sided relationship, complete with a coward and a liar, looked like.
No one wants to admit he or she deals with mostly abuse just to feel a flicker of being wanted here and there.
The guy I loved for over a year, and finally informed of this, showed me what a life is without hope or belief in love.
He showed me what happens when others are pushed away and closeness and openness are forbidden.
Without the guy who brought us together, I wouldn't have realized I don't need to lower my standards and myself in order to feel artificial self-worth for a bit.
He made me realize I deserved better; that I deserved happiness, respect, and a real sense of caring.
If it weren't for the heartbreaks,
If it weren't for the pain and the mistakes,
how would I ever know that real love isn't to be taken for granted
And that it needs to be nourished and fought for?
Whatever is out there, bigger than all of us,
there is a purpose to the tears and sorrow.
Without horrible, tragic things as a dark and murky background,
would the brilliant, beautiful, pure happiness contrast so visibly?

I know you've been hurt, all of us humans have.
Consider yourself fortunate, you've made it this far, pulling yourself along the way.
If you realize the good in your life and recognize it and know better than to chase it away,
you've passed a test, and you are one step closer to realizing the purpose of life,
or at least how to make it the best while you're here.


7/30/06
5:17 pm
the Avocados
reading Justin's poetry

(c) Meghann Pardee