--- Everyone is sitting around, talking about the ozone and oil in Alaska, when a whoosh is heard. Everyone turns towards the door, which is letting in a few flurries of the blizzard outside. Standing there is a woman wearing sunglasses, and draped in an ankle-length coat lined with fur. Just behind her two men carrying weapons are reduced to silhouettes against the darkness outside.

"Hey there. Sorry I'm late," the woman says and walks in the rest of the way followed by her men. A confused coat-attendant wonders whether what he should do. Everyone is still staring, so she tries again, "This is the International Party for the world's diplomats isn't it?"

One brave soul, the coat attendant, stammers "Y-Yes madame, the PETA funded one."

"Oh, them, cool. Here I was worried I walked in on some rich philanthropic organization holding a charity dinner to help humanity around the world," she says, taking her coat off to reveal a form-fitting dress complete with a slit up the side. "Hey, I can hand you my coat right buddy? You're not going to go give it a paint-bath or burnt it at a stake are ya? 'Cause hey, I have to protect what's mine don't I?" At this the silent men behind her adjusted their coats to reveal more of an arsenal under their clothes.

The poor coat attendant, not knowing whether to fear them or the other dinner guests more, kindly tried "Well, if the lady doesn't mind, the coat room is rather full, but I'm sure the back of a chair would support the coat just fine." He looked ready to die, which in all actually seemed a very good possibility just then.

"Oh, no, I'm sure one of these dude's will be more than willing to watch it for me," she said smiling at the one to her left, who in turn smiled back. After that, she turned around, took off her sunglasses and started to go around introducing herself to the still shocked and possibly enraged guests there. Finally she saw three empty seats at a table occupied by a pompous looking middle-aged man with a red face and his wife who was doing her best to look dignified with grace. "Hey, these seats taken?"

"These seats," the man started in a husky voice, "are for the Ambassador just appointed by the Prime Minister of Alpracia and an escort."

"Sir, you're looking at them."

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12/11/04 10:17 pm
(c) Meghann Pardee